What You Can Do To Save Your Relationship.
To repair your relationship you need to follow a sequence. I call it a sequence because healing your relationship is about building on success after success. As a matter of fact, that is how I came up with my system.
After spending years watching couples go back and forth, I started to see patterns (certain methods that worked to bring a couple closer together).
Over time, I started writing down what worked, and I continued testing these patterns until they became rules.
This is what makes my information different than many of the infidelity books on the market. While there are many good books that offer great information for understanding how you feel, they do not carefully organize that information into phases that help you, your partner, and then both of you work things out.
They simply expect you to figure it out with trial and error. That's why books don't heal marriages. But systems do.
How to Survive an Affair: A Step-by-Step System for Saving Your Relationship after It's Been Shattered by an Affair.
Here's what you need to do.
In order to repair the trust, you will work through three phases. Each phase corresponds directly to a specific part of the healing process.
There is no time limit; you can move at the pace that serves you, no matter where you are (months or years into the healing process). I've had several people come to me after years of knowing about the affair and start at the beginning. (They received benefits they never imagined.)
Discovering how to work through these intense feelings will help you feel normal again and will allow you to concentrate. These skills will be priceless to you over the next few months because they will be the anchor that helps you conquer your insecure thoughts.
When you're done with Section 1, you will have a strong handle on your emotions. Not only will you understand what you're feeling and why you're feeling it, but you'll also uncover the following techniques:
- How to stop the raging and screaming before it starts. (This step-by-step strategy will motivate your spouse to listen and validate your feelings instead of shutting you down and telling you it's "your fault".) Page 22
- Why your physical pain, anxiety attacks and crippling depression does not mean you're going crazy. (This simple 4-step process will help you dispel the all-to common paranoia before it leaves you shattered in millions of pieces.) Page 35
- The 12 most critical questions you'll wrestle with immediately after you discover the affair. (Working through these questions in this specific order will help you sleep better and free you from the circus of disorientating thoughts.) Page 22
- Why the affair is not your fault. (5 steps for clearing your mind and protecting yourself from becoming sucked into a black hole of shame and negative thinking.) Page 29
- How to free yourself from the violent thoughts that make you scared to death you're turning into a crazed psychopath. (7 techniques for cooling your natural desire to take out revenge.) Page 33
- Six exercises you can do right now when the pain of the affair is so strong it feels like you have a gall stone. (How performing this one simple breathing exercise will quickly calm you as soon as you start to hyper ventilate.) Page 38
After you start to understand and control your emotions, the next step will be to help you recover from the plague of negative thoughts.
How To Get The Images And
Negative Thoughts Out Of Your Mind
Many people come to me terrified that they are going crazy and haunted with the following:
- How to get the images out of their mind.
- Whether the lover was better than them.
- What they could have done to prevent this.
- Wondering if their spouse loves the other person more than them.
- Feelings of paranoia, worthlessness, and insecurity.
All these feelings are normal and to be expected. When the rug is pulled out from under you, it affects your ability to see things clearly. That is why this section will help you take hold of reality.
Use my 3-Step Program for Clearing Your Mind And Owning Your Thoughts will specifically benefit you when you are suffocating from obsessive images.
How To Restore Trust With Your Partner If
You're The One Who Cheated.
After you commit adultery and expose the news to your partner, there are many legitimate issues you need work through before you can hope to restore trust.
Again, this will not be an overnight process, but if you follow what I say consistently, your partner will eventually warm up to you.
In addition to coping with your feelings of guilt, shame, and hopelessness, you might also be dealing with the emotions directly tied with the affair. These feelings could include withdrawal, which can be intensified by the day-to-day hassles of dealing with the paramour (lover) and responding to your partner's questions about them.
If you have not broken away from the paramour, you will have to do so in order to continue working on your relationship. We will deal with each of the emotional aspects of cutting ties and what to do if the paramour doesn't want to cut ties with you.
You'll learn the following strategies:
- What to do if the affair meets your needs more than your marriage. (How to communicate what was missing without crushing your spouse or making them resent you.) Page 84
- How to permanently break off the relationship with the lover. (Six critical guidelines for terminating the affair and getting a fresh start.) Page 78
- What to do if the ex-lover won't leave you alone. (Four ways to cut-off off all contact and communication with the paramour.) Page 79
- How to rid yourself from the major withdrawals of the affair. (Why being in an affair is no different than being addicted to a drug and how to come clean.) Page 83
Before you start opening up every door, I need to provide several guidelines, including The Five Pitfalls to Developing Transparency and the following:
- How to dispel the rejection from your spouse when they give you the cold shoulder. (What to do and say when your spouse starts throwing daggers.) Page 67
- How to live a normal life without arousing suspicion. (5 transparent ways to reassure your spouse that you're not sneaking around or lying to them.) Page 85
- What to do when it feels like your spouse will never trust you again. (Uncover what your spouse is feeling and what it is they actually want, but aren't telling you.) Page 91
Here's What You Need To Do Today To Take Control Of The Future Of Your Relationship And Restore The Safety, Honesty, and Intimacy.
I divided my step-by-step affair healing system into three phases. These three phases are separated into a total of 10 sections.
However, I don't want you to think about all 10 sections. I only want you to think about one. Today I want you to get started with Section 1, entitled My Spouse Had an Affair - How to Manage Your Emotions.
If you're the one who cheated, then I want you to go to Section 3, entitled The Cheating Partner - How to Cope with Your Emotions and Restore Trust with Your Partner.
It will only take you 30 minutes to go through your first section, but it will save you months, if not years, of continued grief, sorrow, and anxiety.
I'm only asking you to take this one step at a time and let me prove to you that I can help you. I'm not asking you to trust me, I'm asking you to give me 30 minutes and put me to the test.
If I don't help you regain your sense of control and worthiness, if I don't give you hope and peace of mind and faith that you can get your life back, then you only spent 30 minutes.
But if I do help you,then you'll gain a new life and a new relationship.
Now Is The Time To Get Started.
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